03

The Ferryman’s Pole

I, Penelope

By

Amanda Hamlin

Chapter Three

The Ferryman’s Pole

            I agree to meet Kendra and Julia at Café Café.  Our favorite couch in the back has been taken by a group of vampire wanna-be college students with dyed black hair and black lipstick so I find the two of them perched awkwardly on the tall stools by the front window and looking mighty put out by the whole thing.

            “Stupid bastards,” I hear Julia mutter as I drag another stool over to them.  But then her sour expression changes to a sugary smile as she catches sight of me.  “Why, Penelope, we’re so glad you could make it.  We hardly ever see you anymore.”

            “I’m not that busy.  You guys don’t call me that much.”

            “I know why she’s not busy.”  Kendra is hunched over her plastic cup of diet coke, staring morosely into it like it’s a whiskey shot at a saloon. 

            “Yea, and I know why you’re so down in the dumps.”

            “Because Sven is out of town,” Julia pronounces in a monotone, rolling her eyes.  “I’ve had to listen to her,” she jerks her thumb at Kendra, “moon about it for the last fifteen minutes.”

            “He’s on a cruise.  It’s so romantic.”

            “It’s a family reunion and he’s going under duress,” I point out dryly.  “And who the hell has enough money to afford having a family reunion on a cruise ship anyway?”

            “Really rich people, that’s who,” sighs Kendra dreamily.

            “Well, it sounds like Penelope knows more about what’s Sven’s doing and thinking than you do,” warns Julia.  We both glare at her and she ignores us as she throws back her head and downs the remains of her drink in one gulp.  “Let’s blow this joint.  I want to go check out the new deals at The Carcass.”

            The Carcass is our local used clothing store, with a sign that features a vulture ripping apart an old dress like carrion.  I hate the place, even though it has a lovely smell like books in people's basements, because it's full of used prom dresses which, of course, Kendra immediately goes over to.  With a cry of admiration, she pulls a shimmering, sea blue gown off the rack.  It has a slanted neckline so that it's held up by a thick band on on shoulder and the other is strapless. To offset this, the skirt cascades to the floor on one side and is slit high on the other.  She clasps the gown to her, as if it's her dancing partner.  The iridescent blue looks fabulous against her skin and I feel sick. 

            “Oh, I can just imagine dancing in this,” she sighs.

            “With Sven,” Julia sneers.  Kendra sighs even more deeply at the thought.  “I don't know that Sven would even like that dress.  I don't think you're showing enough leg.”  Kendra makes a face at her.  “Don't be so upset.  There's an easy way to solve this.”  Julia grins evilly.  “Just ask Penelope.  I'm sure she knows all about Sven's preferences now.”  When Kendra shows no sign whatsoever of doing this, Julia asks me directly. 

            I keep my face turned away and sulk in wounded righteousness.  “The day I can wear a dress like that, I'll comment on it.  Until then, I won't even look at it.”

            “Penelope, we know you're aggrieved but...”

            “Nope, not listening.  Here's what I'll be wearing that night.”  I wave an old Iron Maiden concert T-shirt that I pulled out of the discount bin at them. Julia throws up her hands and turns her back on me.  I check out my single purchase and then continue to pick through the discount bin, not because I expect to find anything else I want, but just to pretend like I'm doing something.  It provides my mind with a very minimal distraction from my depression over the fact that I'll never get to wear a formal dress.  Needless to say, my back has completely gone out by the time they get tired and decide to leave.  Thankfully, they don't end up buying anything.  The woman at the counter is kind of clueless and always takes forever to check people out.

Kendra suggests we go to the park and I certainly have no objections. Once there, I stare dreamily at the leaves above my head as we lie in the grass and my thoughts wander back to the day I fell for Robert.  It was a bitterly cold day in the middle of February.  My parents had insisted I leave for class way earlier than normal because they were convinced, with the snow and ice, it would take more than an hour to go half a mile.  Of course, they grossly overestimated the amount of time and I arrived at school quite a while before classes were to start.

Sighing, I turn onto my side as I sink deeper into the memory.  In my mind's eye, I make my way to my first class (geometry) to kill time until it starts.  When I arrive, I discover that several other people are in the same boat.  Robert, Sven, and Timothy Kroke, our resident socially clueless savant, are also hanging around outside the classroom.

“This is getting boring,” cries Sven in exasperation as I walk up.

“How long have you been here?” I ask.

“Oh, hours.  This is so stupid.”

“We could play chess.”  Timothy pulls his mini portable chess set out of his backpack.  Chess is one of the things Timothy is a genius about.  He can also solve math problems just by looking at them though, sometimes, he doesn't actually do very well in class because, even though he always puts down the right answer, he can never explain how he got it.  He also stutters when he speaks, only wears ratty sweat shirts, and always smells of urine.  Because of his chess abilities, I'm reluctant to expose myself to the humiliation of losing (and because of his odor I'm reluctant to expose myself to the smell by sitting close to him).  Sven, however, has no qualms and immediately sits down across from him.  He doesn't last long so I have to step up and sacrifice myself to fill more time.  If possible, I loose even more quickly. 

Robert lounges back against the wall and mocks us the whole time.  My face flushes with shame.  Even though chess isn't my thing, I'm still embarrassed about losing, especially in front of people I know but not very well.  Sven looks put out but tries another game. What makes it worse is that every time Timothy wins, he feels the need to give a stammering lecture about why we lost and exactly which wrong move (usually about two turns into the game) made the loss inevitable.  Robert keeps laughing. When Sven loses a second time, he also loses patience.  Grabbing Robert by the shoulders, he pushes him to the table and forces him to sit in the chair across from Timothy.

“Rob, sit in this chair, play chess...”

“And lose,” we both finish simultaneously.  Admittedly, Robert is a much better chess player than either of us.  He takes his time with his moves, pausing to examine the board and think each one through before making it.  This, I think, is when I start to become interested in him.  He's intelligent and not afraid to show it. 

But he's no match for Timothy who, according to popular rumor, plays chess in his sleep.  After loosing a few pieces, Robert appears to become agitated and starts muttering to himself.  I can't quite catch what he says but it involves kung fu and cheese whiz.  After he repeats it a high speed several times, the words run together and become kung fu cheese.  This makes me laugh and I fall a little more.  I can tell because I start tucking my legs under me when I sit and get a cramp. 

“Is your strategy to be so annoying that the other person can't concentrate on what they're doing?” I ask.  My budding attraction is making me start to feel antsy and I can't keep quiet.

“Yes, and it actually works.”  Sven comes up behind Robert and hits him in the head (he also showed his true colors early).  “Sven, don't do that again.”

“Hit him again,” I say and Sven promptly does.

“I'm warning you, if you do that again I will break your arm.”  He doesn't let himself be trifled with, another point in his favor.  Sven keeps trying to sneak up from behind and hit him.  Robert is trying to keep an eye on him so he has his back to me and I hit him in the head.  Obviously, I'm in deep at this point because that was basically just an excuse to make contact.  Robert turns back around slowly and gives me a strange look then resumes the game, which takes a very long time to finish because, every few minutes, Sven hits Robert in the head and the two of them fight for a while. 

Finally, Timothy gets Robert in check mate and announces the game is over.  He looks like he's about to go into another lecture about Robert's failings, but Robert quickly holds up his hand to stop him.  “Wait,” he says.  “I'm going to make some chess god moves.”  He begins switching pieces on the board and putting back pieces that had already been captured, all the while keeping up a running commentary about what he is doing that he is clearly completely making up on the spur of the moment.  So, he's also incredibly creative.  This is the last piece of the puzzle and, from that moment on, I love Robert.

******

After they finally manage to escape the ancient temple, very worn down and battered indeed, the party decides to limp back to the nearest town to rest and buy supplies.  They're lucky to be alive at all because the final battle with the the giant “what?” magical lizard spirit who guarded the temple was a total disaster.  All three of the various warrior class characters committed one of the cardinal blunders of D&D by buying only slashing weapons, which had very little effect on the creature's tough hide. They all seemed to think it was someone else's fault.  The others should have taken the hit for the team by using a crushing weapon while they got to look cool swinging a big sword around.  But the real problem was that Sven forgot to memorize his spells the night before the battle, which made him completely useless.

When they finally reach the town, I tell them there's a market going on to make things more interesting...also because Jeff broke his sword trying to use it like a club on the lizard and the town's too small for him to find a decent replacement if there isn't a market.  I enjoy describing all the different stalls in the market (though they don't seem to appreciate my effort).  In addition to the typical bread, cheese, soap, and wine vendors (and the required sword seller) I add a fortune teller, a potion dealer, a man who sells exotic birds, and a very violent puppet show, which they do enjoy.

            Sven decides to visit the potion dealer.  I didn’t really intend for anyone to buy stuff from him.  I just put him there to look interesting.  Trust Sven to be a pain.  To try to discourage him, I describe the potion dealer as being filthy, ragged, and slightly insane to show how unreliable he is.  It doesn’t work.  He buys a sleep potion, a love potion, and a confusion potion, which are the only “standard” potions the dealer offers.  I figure they seem pretty harmless.

            “This sucks,” Sven complains.  “That can’t be all he has.  You said he had bags and bags of potions under his table.”

            “Yes.  But those are the only potions he knows what they do.  The rest are all random, unidentified potions.”

            “So?  I use my identify potion skill.” He rolls a die.  “And I make it.”  I panic.  I don’t want him getting tons of powerful items and, since they have multiple copies of the Dungeon Master’s Guide, I can’t even make them wonder about what the potion does.  They’ll just look it up the second I say the name.  What’s a DM to do?  Make up a totally new potion of course.  But what?  My Monstrous Manual is lying next to me on the couch and it happens to be open to the “bat” entry.

            “It’s a potion of bat creation,” I say smugly.  Doesn’t sound terribly threatening, does it?

            “A what?” cries Sven in frustration.  “What the hell does that do?”

            “That’s for you to find out.”

            “Fine.  I identify another.”  And another…and another…and another.  I get pretty good at making up elusive sounding names like “fertility of fields,” “colorful mystery,” and “silence of silver.”  But I make most of his successes potions of bat creation, hoping he’ll get bored and give up.  No luck.

            “How many potions are you planning on identifying?” I ask impatiently.

            “All of them.”

            “But there are over 200 potions here.”

            “So?”

“Sven, stop being stupid.  There’s nothing useful here,” scolds Robert.  “We don’t need any more stupid potions of bat creation.”  Sven ignores him and keeps trying to identify potions so Robert has his character come up and hit him in the back of the head, then drag him away while he’s stunned.  After this incident, everyone makes fun of Sven about the potions he bought so every time there’s a debate on what to do, he suggests using the potions to prove it was actually a good idea for him to get them.  And when he sees that this pisses people off, he does it all the more. 

Oh my god.  Sven is an idiot as well as an asshole and now Kendra thinks I like him.  This is obviously because she does and will no longer admit it.  It's been about a week now since she called Julia and I in a rage and started ranting that "I'm through with him.  I quit.  I wash my hands.  Etc. etc."  Julia immediately began celebrating.  I kept quiet but, personally, thought the rant sounded kind of phony.  I expected her to be back drooling over him in a couple of days, like has happened in the past, but she stuck to her story.  However, she now always acts majorly paranoid about me being around Sven, like I was just waiting for her to get out of my way or some stupid shit like that.  Well, sorry, Kendra, but he's not the catch you think he is.  Some of the rest of us don't get turned on by people who are rude and stupid.  And…if you were really over him you wouldn't care if I was, not that I would be.  I see right through her but I still feel insulted that she would suspect me of such a thing.   

                                                *******

            Kendra, Julia and I decide to catch the bus out to the mall and Julia insists we all sit in the very back.  This does not please me because the back seat of the bus is right on top of the engine so the seat is hot and it stinks of exhaust.  Plus the motor underneath shakes the seat, making my teeth rattle and giving me a head ache.  But this is exactly why Julia likes it.  She declares the vibrations are soothing to her PMS cramps and possibly sexually stimulating as well.  This conversation itself doesn't disturb me.  I'm not squeamish like most people imagine, though I have to completely disagree with her on both counts.  However, it does make me rather uncomfortable to notice that two fortyish women a couple of seats up, in cakey make-up and flower print dresses, keep turning around to give us bad looks. 

            After about fifteen minutes, Julia notices the women too.  “You don't think they're looking at us, do you?” she asks, suddenly nervous.  Kendra and I give each other sidelong glances.  We both know 100% they are but neither of us wants to piss off Julia by pointing this out. 

            “Well...they might be...” I offer tentatively. 

            “How could they even hear us?  I'm not being loud am I?” she cries at top volume.  As her voice reaches a particularly shrill pitch, the women turn around and stare at us.

            Kendra looks at the ground in embarrassment.  “Uh...yea, you are,” she mutters.  Fortunately, the women get off at the next stop, possibly because of us.  Despite our earlier embarrassment, Kendra and I find this idea hilarious and can't help needling Julia about it

            We arrive at the mall without further incident but, when we try to exit the bus, the bus driver demands I pay a full dollar, instead of the fifty cents we're accustomed to  (Kendra and Julia both have monthly passes so it's not a problem for them).  She doesn't just ask me for the money.  “Hay,” she snaps, making a face at me.  “I need to see fifty cents more from you,” like I'm trying to sneak off without paying or something.

            “Sorry, does this help?” I ask contritely, pulling out my student ID.  We're supposed to get some kind of discount for it.

            “No,” she barks.  “Just pay up.”  I'm so embarrassed I want to die.  She's treating me like I'm stupid and dishonest, two of the very biggest insults to me.  But, if I protest, she could try to have me arrested or something.  I'm so upset that I feel a burning behind my eyes.  I bite my lip and steel myself to keep from crying in front of my friends.

            But I don't have to suffer for very long.  Julia disdainfully snaps open her change purse and pulls out fifty cents for me which she drops in to the fare box.  “God, you're a stupid bitch,”she yells over her shoulder as we exit.  “You ought to be ashamed of ripping us off like that.”  I feel warm and tingly all over.  Julia may be annoying but she sure has balls.  It's not often that my friends stand up for me so I feel extra privileged now.

            “That was really nice of you,” I say hesitantly as we move inside.

“No problem,” Julia all but yells back.  “You guys are like sisters to me.”  And throwing wide her arms, she hugs one of us to each side of her.  “So,” Julia continues as we make our way towards the food court and buy slushies to drink, “how have you guys been?”  She's been out of town on a family vacation for the past week or so, not that anything really happened while she was gone. 

            “Nothing much, just lots of D and D here.”

            “Having any luck with Robert?”  She must be in an exceptionally good mood to actually let me talk about this.

            “Not so much.  It's okay though.  I've never had a guy I like at my house before.  It's great so I'm not in a hurry.”  Neither Kendra or Julia has had someone they like at their house.  Period.  Ever.  End of story.  So, they don't really have anything to say about this.

            “How about you, Kendra?”

            “Still looking.”

            “So you're still on your not liking Sven kick?”

            I roll my eyes.  “Is she ever.  Every time I call her, she tells me how much she doesn't like him.  It seems almost like she talks about him even more now.”

            “That's not true,” Kendra objects.

            “Of course not,” Julia agrees.  “It would be completely impossible for you to talk about him more.” We both snicker.  “We should go check out the clothes at Wet Seal.  I heard they have some good sales.”

            “Can't.”  I hold up my half finished slushy.  “We're not allowed to take this in.”

            “Oh, just hide it behind your back.”

            “At least we can start walking in that direction,” Kendra offers, not wanting us to argue about it. We make our way to the other end of the mall as I race to finish my drink by the time we get there, giving myself a side cramp and an ice-cream headache in the process. 

            “So, seriously, you're not going to be worried about Sven going over to Penelope's house anymore?” asks Julia as we walk.  That would be a relief. 

            Kendra looks over at her sharply and doesn't answer right away.  “I wouldn't mind if he went over to her house and slept with her,” she says at last, tossing her head carelessly. 

            I feel queasy.  “Maybe not, but I would mind,” I snap.  “Very, very much.”

            “It might be a good way to make Robert jealous,” Julia teases.

            “I don't think I want him quite that badly,” I say, holding my stomach.  I decide against finishing what's left of my slushy and toss it in the nearest garbage can.

            “Penelope, you're blushing,” Julia says as I rejoin them.  I put my hand to my cheek and, to my horror, it is indeed burning hot. 

            “Why are you blushing?” Kendra giggles.  “Does the thought of being with him really effect you that much?”

            I round on her and they can both see in my face that it's my pissed off insane side they have to deal with now.  “Yes, it does,” I snarl.  “The very idea makes me want to die of shame.  I will never degrade myself by having feelings for someone so utterly lacking in intelligence.  Never, do you understand?”  Julia silently shapes Robert's name with her mouth, but I refuse to be distracted by the bait.  “I am offended that my friends think so little of me.” 

            “We were just joking around,” Julia mutters defensively and Kendra nods hurriedly in agreement but says nothing and there's a stiff, frozen look about her face.   

            “Well, let's say I don't think it's funny at all.  As for you,” I glare at Kendra.  “You better hope your change of heart is for real this time because, if you ever do start liking him again, I will have no mercy for you.” 

            Several minutes of uncomfortable silence follow and then Kendra and Julia begin to talk to each other about something completely different, essentially trying to pretend that none of this ever happened.  I find this offensive and cowardly of them but know that, if they've both decided to avoid the topic, it's a waste of my effort to try to force it.  So, I spend the rest of our outing sulking resentfully. Since I'm not talking to them, my mind is left free for unpleasant thoughts.  The very idea of me liking Sven is so horrifying that it makes me break out in a sweat.  Many times, while I watch Kendra and Julia try on shoes, I put my hand on my sternum and can feel my heart race...with anger, with embarrassment, something like that.  Whatever it is, I know it's something bad.

 **********

 The party has successfully retrieved the golden idol, the key to breaking Garenmoth’s power and (amazingly) lived to tell the tale.  So, now they’re looking for the huge ruby that must be fitted into its eye to fully unlock its ability.  They have received a dire prediction that something terrible will happen if they don’t find the ruby soon.  Robert has the idea that, if everyone in the party had two horses, they could keep switching horses so they wouldn’t get tired and travel more quickly that way.  It’s pretty obvious that’s what he means.  But, what he says is, “If we had two horses we could ride them back and forth really fast.”  I’m still being amused by this statement when Linus points out that they don’t have any horses.

“We’ll have to get some then,” says Robert matter-of-factly. 

“And how are we going to afford them?” asks Sven.  “We don’t have very much money.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have spent so much money on those rare flower oils for your spell components,” sneers Jeff.  Yes, I took great delight in forcing him to, in essence, buy perfume. 

“We’ll have to steal them then,” says Mike 

“How do we do that?” asks Sven.

“We need a plan,” says Robert and immediately starts devising one.  The first step is to find a place that sells horses.  Robert insists that they go to the nearest town as fast as possible.  The other players are not so happy about this and complain about how long it takes to get there.  Then someone makes a crack about how they could get there much faster if they each had two horses they could ride back and forth and Robert gives us all the finger.  I decide to throw him a bone (and let him impress me with his great intelligence) by deciding that there is, in fact, a fair in town which includes a horse seller.  His booth is set up at the edge of the town square and all the horses are in an open area behind him.  "So, here's the plan," says Robert importantly, once they've scouted out the situation.  "I'll distract the man by pretending I want to buy a horse, while the rest of you enter from the other end of the lot and take what we need."

"I don't think we all need to go," says Mike. "They're more likely to see us."

"If we want five horses we do," says Linus.  "One or two people will never be able to manage that many."

"We don't need five," says Jeff.  "We can double up."

Mike makes a face.  "I don't want to ride with you," he says.

"Five horses?" I say mockingly.  "I thought you wanted at least ten so you could ride them back and forth."  Everyone laughs. 

"Oh, shut up," mutters Robert. 

"We'd never get away with that," says Mike, "and it would be hard for even four of us to manage ten horses."

"I would like to point out that not all of you have the riding proficiency," I say.

"What idiot didn't take that?" cries Robert.  Turns out neither Jeff nor Linus did.

"I don't just have land-based riding," says Sven smugly.  "I have airborne riding." 

"That's almost as stupid as having no riding skill at all.  It's a useless ability because no DM in their right mind will ever give you a flying mount." 

"So, we're down to three horses," Mike cuts in. "That means we only need two people to steal them."

"I'm going," Sven yells immediately.

"Oh god, why?"

"Because I want to."

"Fine."  Robert glares at him.  "But don't do anything stupid, and keep your rats under control."   I'm not happy about this development at all.  Sven looks mighty pleased with himself and he only looks like that when he's found a way to cause trouble. 

When Sven and Mike are in position behind the horses, Robert says, "Now I make my approach."  He actually gets up and struts around the room to show how he does it, making flourishes with his hands as he goes. "Now, my good man, I have an interest in buying some of these truly fine specimens you have here.  Show me your best wares."

"The salesman eyes your dirty clothes and backpack skeptically.  Clearly, he doesn't think you look like the kind of person who can afford expensive horses."

Robert looks down at his crisply pressed button-down shirt and makes a great show of brushing himself off.  "I beg your pardon, my good man, for appearing before you in this undignified fashion.  You see, a few days ago, my coach was attacked by bandits and they stole everything.  That is why I am in such need of new horses."  While we're having this conversation, I keep making stealth checks for Sven and Mike.  Now Mike fails a check.  "You step on a dry branch and it snaps loudly, startling the horses.  One of them kicks you.  Take four damage."

"Be careful, you morons," snaps Robert.  "I become more forceful with the man to distract him."

"He gives you a narrow look and says, 'But, if you were robbed, how do you have money to buy a horse?'"

"Well, you see, I had a secret bag inside..."

I roll another check.  "You guys have about reached the middle of the field by now."

Sven breaks into a huge grin.  "I cast fear."

"Okay.  Mike what are you...Wait! What?"  It takes me a moment to process what he's saying.  "You're really not serious."

"Oh yes I am."  I knew he was going to do something stupid.  I knew it!  "Come on.  I really don't want to have to make saving throws for a couple hundred horses." 

"Don't worry.  You won't have to."  He opens the Player's Handbook and reads, “All targets of at least five levels below the caster or of natural zero level, which includes normal humans and all non-intelligent, non-magical, animals, do not make a saving throw."

"But...but..that means..."  I'm not the only one who's upset.  Robert and Mike look fairly petrified and even Jeff seems to have grasped that something bad is happening. 

"Mass stampede," Sven yells, shrieking with laughter. 

"You idiot, I will kill you," cries Robert in a rage. 

"No need.  The horses may have done so already," I say grimly.  Everyone gets trampled.  Robert, Jeff, and Linus, because they're on the outskirts, only get run over a few times.  But Mike and (to my sadistic glee) Sven are right in the middle of the lot and get kicked or trampled by almost every horse there.  They're not quite dead but they are down to a couple of hit points apiece and Mike is actually knocked unconscious.  The one good thing is that the horse seller has also been trampled so he's in no position to bother them.  At first, everyone screams at Sven.  But soon they give up because it just seems to make him even more pleased with himself.  I hate him, I hate him, I hate him.  I need to go mock Kendra about this.  That's the best way to make myself feel better.  I'm going to call her as soon as this gaming session is over.

Kendra, however, is in no mood to be mocked.  "I told you, I don't like him anymore," she snaps.

"Maybe not."  I'm still not convinced of this.  "But you did.  And he was just as stupid and annoying back then."

"You should be careful with Sven," says Kendra in a warning tone. 

"Careful of what?  That I'll get too pissed off and kill him?"

"No, that you'll end up like me."  I knew it!  I knew it!

"I do not like him.  I like Robert.  He was very clever today."

"And arrogant."

"Yes, that too.  He made a big deal about his clothes."

The phone crackles as Kendra snickers on the other end of the line.  "I bet he did."

"Anyway, he came up with this genius idea."  In my infatuation, I've already forgotten how dumb I thought it was at the time.  "And that loser, Sven, had to go ruin it for no good reason."

"See, there you go, talking about Sven again."

"Complaining about how dumb he is."

"Yea, that's what you tell yourself.  But it means you're thinking about him all the time and he's affecting you emotionally.  That's how he gets his claws into you."

I roll over onto my stomach and punch my pillow in frustration as I wad it under my chest.  "You sound almost like you want me to like him.  What is this, the ferryman's pole or something?"

"See, you must have sex on the brain since you randomly start talking about guys' poles."

"Not that kind of pole," I snap angrily.  My face turns bright red and, even though she can't see me through the phone, I clap my hands over it in embarrassment.  "It's a common plot in myths and fairy tales," I mutter sourly.  "An old man ferries a boat back and forth across a magical river for all eternity.  He can never leave the boat or die.  The only way he can be free of his curse is if he tricks someone into taking the pole from him.  Then the curse transfers to them."

"I fail to see how this matters beyond proving that you have weirdo interests and hobbies.  But I already knew that."  Sometimes Kendra seems almost as dense as Sven.  No wonder she liked/s him.  And no wonder I don't in the slightest. 

"It means," I say slowly and deliberately, "that you want to be free of him but you can't quite do it unless someone else takes your place.  You're trying to trick me into taking over your curse for you."

            "That's not a very nice thing to say about a friend.  I'm only trying to help you."  She sounds offended but also a tiny bit frightened, like my analysis has come too close for comfort.  I tartly inform her that Julia would make a much better candidate as a love interest for Sven.  They're both loud, rude, and out of control.  Besides, she complains about how she hates him so much that, if Kendra's theory is correct, she must totally want him.  “Yea, but she doesn't do nerd things with him, like you do.”  I find that comment offensive and tell her so before cutting the connection.  At this moment, I don't blame Sven for not being interested in Kendra.  Who would be interested in someone who despises all their hobbies?  It would serve her right if he did get with me, not that I want that at all, of course.  But, furious as I am, fighting with Kendra does not please me, and I spend the rest of the evening in a deep depression.

-- end of Chapter 3—

 Keywords:  chess, ferryman, D&D, dungeons, dragons. jealousy, potion, market

 Copyright: Amanda Hamlin

Not to be used by A.I. without permission of the author.

Cover art by Eric Hamlin

To view his portfolio, go to: https://www.instagram.com/hamlin.eric/

Not to be used by A.I. without permission of the artist.

If you liked this story, please click SUPPORT and/or make a donation through the support function of stck.me or TAPAS

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Also read:

 “Deliverance from the Eye” a short story by Amanda Hamlin, free at https://amandahamlin.stck.me

“Ravenlord,” a short story from the point of view of a woman should be read by all men, is also available at https://amandahamlin.stck.me

 The first three chapters of “I, PENELOPE” are now open for free on stick.me and TAPAS

(https://tapas.io/series/I--PENELOPE).

And on WATTPAD: https://www.wattpad.com/1395125995-i-penelope-chapter-1-dungeon-master

Also, go to: All That is Gold at URL:     http://allthatisgoldwriting.blogspot.com/p/httpsdrive.html

For non-fiction by this author go to URL:  https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Amanda-Hamlin

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